It’s been over a year since my last post – one of the toughest years of my life. Those who’ve walked alongside me in my journey, realize the significance of that statement. Very little about it seemed “holy.” When it was time to renew this blog/domain, I made the decision not to renew it immediately. There were several reasons why…
- I’ve got family who will follow this blog with the specific intent of discrediting me, and anything said here. They’ll say I’m a terrible mother and “Christian.” Don’t worry – those comments won’t be approved so you won’t read them.
- I’ve wondered if I have anything left to say. Can I say anything else about Autism and our journey? Do I have any wisdom left to offer? Honestly, our life since diagnosis has shaped my theology in such different ways that it sets me in opposition with others more often than in agreement.
- I’m just tired of running toward achievement, disappointing people and then walking back with my head down. I’m just ready to be still.
Faithful followers and readers of the blog might inquire how Noah is doing. I’m happy to say that he still surprises and encourages us daily through (not in spite of) his Autism. But this year has been really difficult for him as well. He lost ground that we were beginning to think he would not recover this time. Often we have felt alone and without a refuge for Noah and his needs. But once again, the combination of faith, love and a generous sense of humor has seen us through a dark night of the soul.
In the end, that was what helped reverse the decision to shut down the blog. I believe in our role as Christ-followers to serve as prophetic witnesses to our communities and wider culture. Our neuro-diversity has certainly set us in a counter-cultural place. Sometimes it seems to hold us there. But over time, I have come to see that as “gift” more than curse.
But through our struggle we have found peace. Noah pursues peace and sees goodness in unlikely places. As a faithful a witness to The Resurrection, Noah inhabits an existence where Jesus has truly ended war in the midst of struggle. As a family we strive to live peaceful, simple, and sustainable lives as witnesses to what we believe Resurrection Life will be when Jesus restores a new heaven and earth.
So in the tradition of the prophets that have gone before me, I think I’ll continue to speak and write. No longer running toward career or from criticism, I am happy to be still and proclaim the “good news” we have received. Stillness, after all, is a virtue.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her right early. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts.The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. [Selah] Come, behold the works of the Lord,how he has wrought desolations in the earth.He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;he breaks the bow, and shatters the spear,he burns the chariots with fire!
“Be still, and know that I am God.I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth!” The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. [Selah] [1]
[1] The Revised Standard Version (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1971), Ps 46:4–11.
vangierodenbeck 
So glad to see another post, and one with such depth, raw honesty, and perhaps even some indignation.